a mistake done is flying away

The memories of you are fading..somehow I feel glad..the connections of us are gone..though not completely but it starts to disappear..not that I want to lose it but somehow, I think, we are better this way..move on to own paths is the best way..sooner or later, one of us shall sail away to the other side of the region..leaving the memories passed behind..for me, it worth a thousand high..but unlikely known to you..nor the worthiness of the memories for you..letting these memories to fade is making me barely alive..making you fade from my life had taken more than enough effort to really kill me..the torture was like living in dungeon of doom..time flew fast while I'm getting you out of my brain..thank God that mental illness is beneath me but suffered me well enough that suffer was like the most important meal of the day..no escape door for bleeding heart..rivers of hope used to be flowing hard but not anymore..not this time, it won't..fading of you and the memories means a new life and definitely a new heart will emerge out of this torn heart of mine..but how can you know? The truth has never been told..kept tightly sealed though sometimes the potential to erupt was always there..ego didn't take place but dignity and pride did and do until now and forever..let it be..maybe one day, truth will be reveal but time will play the game..but anyhow, Alhamdulillah..

Fin..by yours truly..

P/s: happy and relieved..

indescribable events..

hey! waddup ppl! so..based on the tajok itself, i dun really know how to describe wat had happened to myself lately..hahaha..mix up everything..actually these few days je pon..anyhow..a lot of feelings, emotions involved! hahahah..ya meh?? ntah.. nie are 3 of them..yg big event la..hehehe..

1st..as far as i can remember, last 2 days la, almost stabbed myself with a metal rod..Alhamdulillah tak tembus..hahah..it's juz tcucuk..but it did hurt..for a while..hahaha..funny though..myb it was so dark..n i didnt see it there..my fault..hahahah..

2nd..i'm learning how to drive..yer..got my L..sedeyh kan? agak lambat but its ok..as long as i get my own car..n nutting can stop me! hahaha..naaahhh..i dont noe..kne tgk boss2 la..hahaah..a gud experience..n xscary lgsg..hahahaha..

3rd..i think..i'm having a crush on sumone..dats normal rite? but it's my bro's fren..myb dats normal 2..but..i completely want to make this clear, its juz like bro sis kinda lyk thingy..coz..definitely he is in a relationship wif whoever..n besides, he knew me since like..urmm..forever? hahaha..he even calls me adik ok? but anyhow..i think he is so cute..adorable..he is juz like a polar bear..baby's bottom..he is so putih..melepak tau x? n smooth skin..but..big belly..ala..juz lyk my brother..but..he's younger than my bro..i think he's bout 23 or 24..or myb younger..he works at baskin as manager sumtg2..so i can get free ice cream if i see him! hahaha..well..the thing dat makes me have this 'crush' thing is he is lyk so baik la to me..(myb i'm too lonely or wat?) ok..let me tell u guys the story..real one..yesterday..abah, abang n me went to this majlis..mama malas..so..abah kinda nid a hand though he said that "u juz go there n eat..ok? xwork.." end up die, i was working lyk it was my majlis..busting my ass off out there..but its ok..puas hati la..coz orang yang datang were more than we expected..abah was the administrator kot..so..suddenly i saw my bro's frens..including him, the baskin guy..at that time, i was like too busy..so cam xamek port la..n my bro leyh asked him "ko knal x sape nieh?" he said "adik ko dowh! rjin gle mnah nie..tolong..baik..bagus die..pkai mekap lg..hahahaha" (not to puji dri sndri but he's the one who said all that..secare sinis..) n i was lyk..shut up! terpakse ok? hahaha..xde la..tlbeyh rajin n man power xcukop..so..its ok la..worth tolong orang..satisfaction is wat we aim for right? so..eventually they had to do sum lifting n other works too..then..during the majlis..mostly i hung out wif the guys..abang n abah had to be in the dewan..so i lpak2 kat tepi tiang..n suddenly he came..asking for my BB..n i tot wat? he's actually holding my bro's BB, but then, stil he wanted mine..n yeah, he's my bro's photographer that nite..hahah..padan muke..bepeluh ko..hahaha..so he sat next to me..n used my bb..he tried to open their fren's fb..apparently, he's fingers r huge so he cud not enter the password..so, ak yang kebetulan hafal password mmat 2 coz he's been saying it for lyk 10 times,(mau x nye, dok kne retype for dun noe how many times..hahaha) ak pon tolong la tkan..n it works..hahaha..jeles die..hahaha..n then we hung out, chit chatting n dgr ak nyanyi lgu wonder gurls..hahahaha..he was lyk.." haaa! abes la nt dak nie hack fb org len" "tgk pe 2??" etc..i was lyk, ko jgn tgk porn dlm bb ak dah la..hahahaa..n he's lyk so tkot that i'll hack his fb..hahaha..sorok2..but when i ask him, he told me..so ak cam..duhhh..hahaha..n we all sembg2 sume..but mostly ngn die la, if antara rakan2 abang yg len..he even hold my bb n my car keys for me..n i dun know..he's being nice..at times, die buli ak jge..such as.."dikk..tolong amek air..plzzz..ckp la, minx lalu abg2..konfirm they'll let u cut the line..hahaha" eww..mntang2, ak pompuan, so org msti kc jln,potg q amek air punye..hahahaha..bodoh owh..but trust me..die gune bb ak, cm die nye je..muke vein je while typing..ble ak tgk die tgh type ap, he was lyk stared at me, smbel bt muke HEP! hahahah..pstu cm sorok..hahaha..he even used it until mende 2 hang..tension ak..hahaha..n oh..i think, he saw my pics! damn! hahaha..he even smiled, dgn perlinye thdp my wallpaper..dang u!! hahahaha..n then..i realised..ppl there were looking at me like..idk..ak rse myb bcoz my eyeliner smeared..n then i realised..coz m the only lady in a bunch of guys..huge guys..hahaha..n always, i mean ALWAYS sat next to him..n asked him to hold my things in front of those ppl..so i dun noe..wateva..yg pling klakar, ktorg bpe org ntah, including my bro la, mkn roti jale rmai2 gune 1 pgn je..hahaha..spe cpt die dpt cm 2..tp mau tau la bpe bnyk diorg amek n ak bjaye ate 2 je..hahaha..n they bullied me to take the kuah for them..jht tol..hahaha..n then..at the end of the majlis dh kot..kan he held the car keys for me kan? haa..coz 1time, i asked my bro for it, n then suddenly he said "did i gave it u juz now? where did u put it? haa..jgn nak tuduh ek?? " dgn bunyik abangly like..hahaha..it was wif my bro..wic happens to be juz dpn ktorg..hahaha..tp die dh jwp dlu, ak lynkan je la..hahaha..d next time, it was really him to hold the keys..hahah..time btol2 nk blik...my bb was at him..n he almost forgot bout it..omg..nseb bek mntk..klo x..mmg la die bt harte..hahaha..but..1 mende la..ak perasaan die dok luang klo ak ask him for either bb or keys..he wud say.." bnyk sgt kunci kete!! hahaha" smbel korek poket..actually it was only 2..1 die nye, 1 mine..hahahah..n even when ask bb..die surh ak main teke2..aperkah? coz, he didnt noe wic is wic..btwn my bro's n mine..jln die sng..i had my face on it..so, kne kuarkan dri pouch..tp kdg2 die teke..ad 1 time he said, "nmpk x isu leyh jd seorg secretary yg hebat??" hahaha..tp kan..gle ak mnje ngn die..surh die pggkan je bb ak tu..hahaha..the reason is my baju kurung had no pockets watsoever..so he offered 1st kot..tkot jtoh, dh alang2 die pon nk fb-ing..so..lame2, ak nek lemak..hahahaha..pgg la ko..hahaha..so cm 2 la..basically..the story..hahahaa..but again..to emphasize..its juz a BRO SIS crush..nutting much..ak pon x gle lg..hahaha..sorry sume yg tlibat! heheh..nie la kesannye ble dh gle..up side down..hahaha..

fin..weeeeee..

p/s : rse cm nk squish je pipi die..sgt2 nk squish..cm bear!! a white bear!! hahahaha..at least, ak dh bjye lupekan bnde lame..heheheh..

automatic loveletter

Photograph each day so we can live forever. We sit in the light to make the dark a little darker and I dance to move only you and I fight to kiss and make up. I scream for some silence. I laugh to laugh for once, not there so you notice I'm gone and I breathe cuz its necessary and I sigh when I see the moon. I dream to make sleep less boring until there was you and I feel in the absence of heart and I plug my eyes to cry. I'm a hopeless romantic and kicking the habit but all hearts have darts.

Chorus: Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me. You marked your name but I can see, its not on me. So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm UNHEARTED.

2nd V
I wear this angels crown to cover up my devils frown and upon my broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness and all the things that are out of place like my head in outer space and the carpet you walked on the ceiling that cries please don't walk away "chorus"

Bridge:
Bellow it out with all the breath in my lungs. Apologize for all that I've done. You did a number on me and a fantastic job. In the scheme of all things we never felt. When your hearts been breached and your guards been let down; You've rotten and spoiled me into the ground and a good mess forgives all the rest we allow

"chorus" x2 Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me

[ Unhearted Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

p/s : you are the reason of me being unhearted..

mahalo ukulele

H-E-L-L-O!! yes..this is d pic of my ukulele..mahalo ukulele..well..its nice..juz nice for me..i think it's cute..coz d size..bak kt abg..xkene lgsg ngn bdn ak yg 'curvy' nie..ahahaha..wateva..i dun care..as long as i luv tis thing n i manage 2 learn n play it, then m gud..skunk pon tgh bljr la..sket2..code yg ak dh hfl C, G, D n Am kot..hahaha..sket2 la..but its nice when we cud play dgn btol..but u noe..bru nk bljr..so lil bit funny but fun..hehehe..so..lgu yg ak prctice adlh lgu plg sng iaitu HAPPY BDAY..hahaha..line last skali dlm lgu 2 ak dh hfl n dh leyh men dh..tp yg lines sblm 2 cm xjd sgt..so xpe..akn ku cube..n kot2 la..leyh jd kn adiah utk bday abg yg nk dkat gle dh nie..mmpos ak..xpe la..ak kc line bwh skali je la..hahahah..k la..dats all..

fin..lalalala~

p/s : smoge ak leyh tol2 men cm2 lgu..hehehe..n plg pntg smoge ak leyh bt midterm nex week..shit!

rampage

yer..smenjak 2 mnjak nie..ak spt..urmm..heran..?? x..nk kt mrh pon x..amok? x gak..xphm kot..tp ntah la..kwujudan ko semule mule mnimbulkan tande tny bt ak..n ak trse ko seakan2 mmerli ak (insyaAllah in a gud way, hahaha) kat sbuah website sbb ak tgor psl ko smlm..xtau la ak prsn ke pe..but..ntah..klo scr x sngaje nye ak tgor psl ko, tp stlh lame sket, ko kuar kan psl pe yg ak tgor ko 2..xke plik? ak prsn kot..ahahaha..tp, im juz saying ek, if its me u r targeting, sorry la if ak offended ko..i juz said for wat i saw..but u can definitely hv it ur way..n fyi, ak bkn criticize ko pon..hahah..jgn kt ko 'touching' wif pe yg ak ckp?? hahahaha..nth ar..lg 1, ko sbnrnye tau x yg ko adlh spt punce otak ak malfunctiong all tis while? x tau kan?? haa..pstu ak nie dh la tgh deciphering the puzzles around me but, ko slalo appear out of nowhere yg mmpo bt ak heart attack..slalo time2 yg unexpected..n sumtimes u do thgs yg bg ak gnjil..hahaha..cm ari 2..r u lyk wat? bring it wif u werever u go? myb btol la alsn yg ko kc 2..acceptable la..tp..hahahah..so ia mbt kn ak cm lg confuse..confuse pe ak nk bt dgn dri ak serta ko..n i tot bnde nie dh over tp rupe nye tsmbong kmbli..ak expect bnde nie akn continue but lbeyh slow la..n lame2 fade..myb ak harus stick dgn pe yg ak tlah cube trained kat dri ak..precautious..tp ak pon mnusia biasa kot..ak rse..ak prsn sorg2 je kot..hahaha..lnx la..but u noe, u always makes me wonder bout thgs yg ak rse xptot pkirkn..bkn in lucah kinda way la..mksod ak adlh spt,pe yg ak dh bt kat ko n vice versa..lbeyh kurg la..sumhow..thgs will remain d same..nothings gonna change..i guess..unless sumtg happen la..n i think u had seen some of d worst of me..always2 it happens 2 b d wrong time..aarrgghhh..give me a break..i want d truth from all these nonsenses..juz lie if u hv too..come on!!!!

self note : stop wondering..

fin..urmmm...

p/s : no, its x ur fault..its juz me..

my very own ukulele

Menurut wikipedia : 

The ukulele (pronounced /ˌjuːkəˈleɪliː/ YOO-kə-LAY-lee, from Hawaiian: ʻukulele [ˈʔukuˈlele]; variantly spelled ukelele in the UK), sometimes abbreviated as the uke, is a chordophone classified as a plucked lute; it is a subset of the guitar family of instruments, generally with four nylon or gut strings or four courses of strings.[1]

The ukulele originated in the 19th century as a Hawaiian interpretation of a small guitar-like instrument brought to Hawaiʻi by Portuguese immigrants.[2] It gained great popularity elsewhere in the United States during the early 20th century, and from there spread internationally.

Tone and volume of the instrument vary with size and construction. Ukuleles commonly come in four sizes: soprano, concert, tenor, and baritone.

haa..2 bak kt wiki la..specification utk mkne ukulele..Assalamualaikum..so actually..yg nk cte kat post nie is ak akhernye dh dpt my own ukulele..hehehe..sronok gle..tp ukulele 2 kat kl n ak plak kat melaka..so xpe..lg few days je 2 c my new baby..heheh..ukulele nie bkn yg cekai2 punye tau..bkn yg cm psr mlm punye..yg nie mmg dlm music store punye..mama yg bli..gle truje nk try men mnde 2..it's ok la klo ak tpkse bljr slow2 from internet as long as ak nk men gak mnde 2..

well, utk org yg knal ak, diorg tau ak mnat guitar..i mean nk men guitar..but then, cm xde mse n space utk guitar 2 utk umah ak d melaka nie..so..ak cm..xpela, next time..n then..suddenly ak asek dok usyah ukulele nie, tp yg psr mlm la..bkn x nk bli..tp xlawa..n ukulele nie dh la kiut, sng nk simpan n bnyk la advantages die..n bsides, ak rse sush utk cri pemain ukulele perempuan..hahahah..x to say i wanna be a pro but at least,  ak nk jd pemain ukulele perempuan 1st la yg korg knal..hahahaa..gle nye impian..tp 1 la..tkot impian yg smntare..tp xpe..time cuti practice tiap2 ari..hahaha..

so i told my mom bout my interest towards this mini guitar..every1 in d family cm sokong je interest ak thdp ukulele nie kerne klo ia adlh guitar yg guitar iaitu bsaiz normal/bsr 2, mama cm xbpe ske..cm boyish..abah cm xhal..abg siap bg kdai lg..so, xpe..nseb ukulele nie kiut..hahaha..n so my mom pon g la cri..cri merate gak la..n last2..abah tau 1 kedai nie..music store la..dlu abah pnah supply musical intruments utk angkatan tentera..so abah bli kat kdai nie dlu..abah cte, kdai nie ad cm2 musical instruments..yg weird2 pon ad..so i guess mama n abah bli kat ctu la kot..abah kt bagpipe pon ad..wahh..hahaha..ari 2 ak kt la kat mama, klo xdpt ukulele, bagpipe pon ok..hahaha..tp bagpipe kan damn expensive..so ak gurao je la..hahaha..klo dpt btol ak lg ske..tp mmpos nk men kat mne? jiran mau sekeh pale ak..hahaha..

so cm 2 la..gmbr nye akn ku post nt k? oh happy nye..hahaha..abg surh ak men trumpet, coz nt leh la die perli ak cm cte bujang lapok 2..hahah..mama surh ak men violin ke piano ke..abah cm ske ati ak la ak nk men pe pon..asl jgn lupe kje2 yg lbeyh pntg dh..hahah..well..kre nye..ak dh ad 2 instruments la..harmonica n ukulele..gle style..hahaha..nk yg org xmo men je..hahaa..sjrh silam, ak pnah men clarinet..haa..xpe la..nt mnx la sumtg org xkan men plak lg..hahaha..spt?? urmm..tabla? hahahaah..

fin..alhamdulillah syukur..

p/s : nak main lgu hawaii ke Spanish?? hahahaha

linger - the cranberries

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn�t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

p/s : tbe2 tersuke lgu nie plak..kesan cte click yg diulang2 la kot..