Tuesday, April 27, 2010

voiceless, tacit, wordless

hey..okay..recently..ak rse..ak cm silent gle..ak cm xbnyk ckp..wlopon x pdiam sgt tp cm xbnyk ckp la..how shud i explain this..urmm..ak lbeyh ske diam n tgk n dgr je skrunk nie..xde balas blik la..cm 2..to ida farah lisa n cda..sorry la..coz ak cm..ntah..ak cm dh brat mulut gle dh utk ckp..tp texting ke ym ke ak ok lg..tp mulut je..berat gle..ble korg bckp, kdg2 otak ak pon mlayang ke tmpt len..xfocus sgt la pe yg korg ckp 2..bkn x nk dgr..tp ntah..cm jauh gle dh suare korg 2 dri tlinge ak..idk la if dat doesnt make sense..2 je la ak nk ckp..but..jgn risau..ak ok..xde prob pon..it's juz dat..xde bnde yg nk kuar dri mulut ak..wlopon ak dgr clearly pe yg korg dok ckpkan n glakkan 2, almost lyk xde idea dh pe nk ckp ..or nk bls..or even nk glak..at times i wud be laughing lyk hell..but others ak juz rather smile je..juz so u know..i'm x being cold or anything la..tau..ak tkot2 je klo korg trse ngan ak nye attitude 2 3 mnjak nie..

fin..*lips locked*

p/s: sorry again..ak sndrik pon xtau npe ngan ak..but hopefully ak akn normal blik..insyaAllah..cm2 hal..hahahaha

distortion

hello..it's been a while since d last post kan? dh a few things come n go dh pon but i cud neva find a time to write it those things..more likely malas sbenarnye..hehehe..so today..i'm going to talk about distortion..towards my body..if n only if la..

how is it gonna be ek? if aku kurus? i mean seyesly..wat happen ek? ppl always said to me..u look better if u lose weight..mama pon ckp d same thing..n it seems dat circles of ppl around me are trying to be thinner..dieting, exercising n stuff..so it makes me wonder..pe plak jd if aku plak yg kurus?

mama always said that klo adik kurus, mama akn change my whole wardrobe..sounds tempting..nice offer..to some ppl...i guess..but secara telusnye, aku xpnah risau pon psl pakaian n  fashion sense aku slame nie..i wear what i wanna wear..bagak sgt ke pon aku x kesah..ketat lg la xske..cm nangke..hahahah..but i guess..2 cre mama pancing aku utk kurus..but idk..myb coz i've neva change..klo ye pon sket je..instead, i got skin darkening lg sng dri nk kurus..hahahah..

n then suddenly..a question popped into my head.."when ko btukar kurus, personality ko akn brubah x or akn ad prubahan len x will happen 2 u?" apart from nmpk kurus la..hahaha..sumtimes..a person..akn change juz bcoz appearance die dh change..u know..it's  like it comes in a package..but if there is, i want a gud one, x a bad package..bkn pakej rupa la tp..rupe? ak mmg sah2 la x cantek..ak sdar keadaan 2..but..in deciphering all these, will i be myself? or juz another girl that u can definitely find anywhere? coz ak tgk..org kurus nie, cm stereotype pon ad..idk y la..but they seemed so..urmm..same..?? x all la..ntah..cm a type yg dlu die gmok, n then die krus tbe2, die cm mst poyo gler..bangge gle dh kurus..mmg la xsume cm 2..tp ad kot mslhnye..?? luaran kdg2 mmpu utk influence our inside..but..as everyone wud say..it's not the outside..it's the inside that counts..right?? hehehehe..

besides, i've used to this kind of situation..i mean being a fattie..dri kecik smpai bsr..pnat dh kne cemuh, hine n bla3..juz bcoz i'm fat..lyk i care, seriously? bg ak, for those ppl yg mngate psl dri org lain 2, get a life! mind ur own business! ukur baju kat bdn sndri dlu sblm nk ckp psl org..every1 is not perfect..lyk duhhh??!! hahahaah..jgn FML dh la..hahaahah

ok..u guys must be wondering y i'm blabbering bout these all so suddenly kn? aku pon x tau reason die..but..it juz popped..bkn poop..ewww..hahaha..surrounding la kot..ak nie pon type yg kuat sgt bfikir..so..u know..it kinda affect me a little..but i think in a gud way..mne la tau tbe2 tbuke pintu ati nk slim..hahahaha..man! it wud be so weird! but xde lg la plan 2 stakat nie..

fin..*yawn*

p/s: sush2 sgt..better jd slim jim je la..hahaha..dave mirra gtu..hahahah

Saturday, April 10, 2010

falling in love

skunk nie..i'm falling in love..with..colour purple..green jge..tp plg lbeyh skali purple la..hehehehe..klo spe yg near ngn ak akn realize ak akn sentiasa pkai rantai yg pendant die kaler purple..n my BB nye getah cover pon kaler purple (kebetulan)..hehehe..idk y i developed into liking this colour..myb bcoz this sumone kot..die yg bt ak ske purple..n ad org pnah ckp kat ak, org ske purple is sumone yg mysterious..so..hahaha..wateva la..this sumone slalo sgt pkai purple..so ak pon trikut..hehehe..this purple yg ak nguh ske..myb nt g clz pon ak akn pkai celak purple je..muahaha..

fin..daaa..

p/s : purple is d new black..but black still remain dlm ati ku..heheheeh