Monday, March 15, 2010

a mistake done is flying away

The memories of you are fading..somehow I feel glad..the connections of us are gone..though not completely but it starts to disappear..not that I want to lose it but somehow, I think, we are better this way..move on to own paths is the best way..sooner or later, one of us shall sail away to the other side of the region..leaving the memories passed behind..for me, it worth a thousand high..but unlikely known to you..nor the worthiness of the memories for you..letting these memories to fade is making me barely alive..making you fade from my life had taken more than enough effort to really kill me..the torture was like living in dungeon of doom..time flew fast while I'm getting you out of my brain..thank God that mental illness is beneath me but suffered me well enough that suffer was like the most important meal of the escape door for bleeding heart..rivers of hope used to be flowing hard but not anymore..not this time, it won't..fading of you and the memories means a new life and definitely a new heart will emerge out of this torn heart of mine..but how can you know? The truth has never been told..kept tightly sealed though sometimes the potential to erupt was always there..ego didn't take place but dignity and pride did and do until now and forever..let it be..maybe one day, truth will be reveal but time will play the game..but anyhow, Alhamdulillah.. yours truly..

P/s: happy and relieved..

Thursday, March 11, 2010

indescribable events..

hey! waddup ppl! so..based on the tajok itself, i dun really know how to describe wat had happened to myself lately..hahaha..mix up everything..actually these few days je pon..anyhow..a lot of feelings, emotions involved! hahahah..ya meh?? ntah.. nie are 3 of them..yg big event la..hehehe.. far as i can remember, last 2 days la, almost stabbed myself with a metal rod..Alhamdulillah tak's juz tcucuk..but it did hurt..for a while..hahaha..funny though..myb it was so dark..n i didnt see it fault..hahahah..

2nd..i'm learning how to my L..sedeyh kan? agak lambat but its long as i get my own car..n nutting can stop me! hahaha..naaahhh..i dont noe..kne tgk boss2 la..hahaah..a gud experience..n xscary lgsg..hahahaha..

3rd..i think..i'm having a crush on sumone..dats normal rite? but it's my bro's fren..myb dats normal 2..but..i completely want to make this clear, its juz like bro sis kinda lyk thingy..coz..definitely he is in a relationship wif whoever..n besides, he knew me since like..urmm..forever? hahaha..he even calls me adik ok? but anyhow..i think he is so cute..adorable..he is juz like a polar's bottom..he is so putih..melepak tau x? n smooth skin..but..big belly..ala..juz lyk my brother..but..he's younger than my bro..i think he's bout 23 or 24..or myb younger..he works at baskin as manager i can get free ice cream if i see him! hahaha..well..the thing dat makes me have this 'crush' thing is he is lyk so baik la to me..(myb i'm too lonely or wat?) ok..let me tell u guys the story..real one..yesterday..abah, abang n me went to this majlis..mama kinda nid a hand though he said that "u juz go there n eat..ok? xwork.." end up die, i was working lyk it was my majlis..busting my ass off out there..but its ok..puas hati la..coz orang yang datang were more than we expected..abah was the administrator i saw my bro's frens..including him, the baskin that time, i was like too cam xamek port la..n my bro leyh asked him "ko knal x sape nieh?" he said "adik ko dowh! rjin gle mnah nie..tolong..baik..bagus die..pkai mekap lg..hahahaha" (not to puji dri sndri but he's the one who said all that..secare sinis..) n i was lyk..shut up! terpakse ok? hahaha..xde la..tlbeyh rajin n man power ok la..worth tolong orang..satisfaction is wat we aim for right? so..eventually they had to do sum lifting n other works too..then..during the majlis..mostly i hung out wif the guys..abang n abah had to be in the i lpak2 kat tepi tiang..n suddenly he came..asking for my BB..n i tot wat? he's actually holding my bro's BB, but then, stil he wanted mine..n yeah, he's my bro's photographer that nite..hahah..padan muke..bepeluh he sat next to me..n used my bb..he tried to open their fren's fb..apparently, he's fingers r huge so he cud not enter the, ak yang kebetulan hafal password mmat 2 coz he's been saying it for lyk 10 times,(mau x nye, dok kne retype for dun noe how many times..hahaha) ak pon tolong la tkan..n it works..hahaha..jeles die..hahaha..n then we hung out, chit chatting n dgr ak nyanyi lgu wonder gurls..hahahaha..he was lyk.." haaa! abes la nt dak nie hack fb org len" "tgk pe 2??" etc..i was lyk, ko jgn tgk porn dlm bb ak dah la..hahahaa..n he's lyk so tkot that i'll hack his fb..hahaha..sorok2..but when i ask him, he told ak cam..duhhh..hahaha..n we all sembg2 sume..but mostly ngn die la, if antara rakan2 abang yg len..he even hold my bb n my car keys for me..n i dun know..he's being times, die buli ak jge..such as.."dikk..tolong amek air..plzzz..ckp la, minx lalu abg2..konfirm they'll let u cut the line..hahaha" eww..mntang2, ak pompuan, so org msti kc jln,potg q amek air punye..hahahaha..bodoh owh..but trust me..die gune bb ak, cm die nye je..muke vein je while typing..ble ak tgk die tgh type ap, he was lyk stared at me, smbel bt muke HEP! hahahah..pstu cm sorok..hahaha..he even used it until mende 2 hang..tension ak..hahaha..n oh..i think, he saw my pics! damn! hahaha..he even smiled, dgn perlinye thdp my wallpaper..dang u!! hahahaha..n then..i realised..ppl there were looking at me like..idk..ak rse myb bcoz my eyeliner smeared..n then i realised..coz m the only lady in a bunch of guys..huge guys..hahaha..n always, i mean ALWAYS sat next to him..n asked him to hold my things in front of those i dun noe..wateva..yg pling klakar, ktorg bpe org ntah, including my bro la, mkn roti jale rmai2 gune 1 pgn je..hahaha..spe cpt die dpt cm mau tau la bpe bnyk diorg amek n ak bjaye ate 2 je..hahaha..n they bullied me to take the kuah for them..jht tol..hahaha..n the end of the majlis dh kot..kan he held the car keys for me kan? haa..coz 1time, i asked my bro for it, n then suddenly he said "did i gave it u juz now? where did u put it? haa..jgn nak tuduh ek?? " dgn bunyik abangly was wif my bro..wic happens to be juz dpn die dh jwp dlu, ak lynkan je la..hahaha..d next time, it was really him to hold the keys..hahah..time btol2 nk bb was at him..n he almost forgot bout it..omg..nseb bek mntk..klo x..mmg la die bt harte..hahaha..but..1 mende la..ak perasaan die dok luang klo ak ask him for either bb or keys..he wud say.." bnyk sgt kunci kete!! hahaha" smbel korek poket..actually it was only 2..1 die nye, 1 mine..hahahah..n even when ask bb..die surh ak main teke2..aperkah? coz, he didnt noe wic is wic..btwn my bro's n mine..jln die sng..i had my face on, kne kuarkan dri kdg2 die 1 time he said, "nmpk x isu leyh jd seorg secretary yg hebat??" ak mnje ngn die..surh die pggkan je bb ak tu..hahaha..the reason is my baju kurung had no pockets he offered 1st kot..tkot jtoh, dh alang2 die pon nk, ak nek lemak..hahahaha..pgg la cm 2 la..basically..the story..hahahaa..but emphasize..its juz a BRO SIS crush..nutting much..ak pon x gle lg..hahaha..sorry sume yg tlibat! heheh..nie la kesannye ble dh gle..up side down..hahaha..


p/s : rse cm nk squish je pipi die..sgt2 nk bear!! a white bear!! least, ak dh bjye lupekan bnde lame..heheheh..

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

automatic loveletter

Photograph each day so we can live forever. We sit in the light to make the dark a little darker and I dance to move only you and I fight to kiss and make up. I scream for some silence. I laugh to laugh for once, not there so you notice I'm gone and I breathe cuz its necessary and I sigh when I see the moon. I dream to make sleep less boring until there was you and I feel in the absence of heart and I plug my eyes to cry. I'm a hopeless romantic and kicking the habit but all hearts have darts.

Chorus: Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me. You marked your name but I can see, its not on me. So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm UNHEARTED.

2nd V
I wear this angels crown to cover up my devils frown and upon my broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness and all the things that are out of place like my head in outer space and the carpet you walked on the ceiling that cries please don't walk away "chorus"

Bellow it out with all the breath in my lungs. Apologize for all that I've done. You did a number on me and a fantastic job. In the scheme of all things we never felt. When your hearts been breached and your guards been let down; You've rotten and spoiled me into the ground and a good mess forgives all the rest we allow

"chorus" x2 Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me

[ Unhearted Lyrics on ]

p/s : you are the reason of me being unhearted..