a light shining through the darkness..

last night, while i was studying for my final exam for this 3rd sem, i was bored..so i browsed through my playlist..suddenly i found this song..

ok..im not sure if it's hum kar leng or hum ga ling but in my playlist, it says hum ga ling..it's from lazy mutha fucka @ lmf..hum ga ling itself means "curse your family will go to hell"..something like that..hahaha well, dont think i listen to these kinda songs? you're wrong! im kinda cool with it..hahahah ok so..while listening to this, suddenly i thought of something..ok, my mom used to tell me to find a guy like this..

the name is ashraf muslim..well my mom would prefer me marrying a guy like this..well, he's quite handsome and somehow pious..and young..mothers like these types right? hahaha well, last night, listening to hum ga ling which obviously involved 24 hrs of cursing and suddenly i thought of a marriage with a handsome young pious guy..isnt it contravened and messed up? 

ok well, 1stly, i dont have anyone and i dont know when i'll be having one..i think the day i'm married to someone is the day i have myself a someone..hahaha 2ndly, im like this, i mean the songs i listen to is enough to show my personality which is so emo and loner..hahahah not loner but i prefer to be alone..like living in a solitude, not wanting to be disturbed or annoyed..3rd, i dont think i could find a guy of this pious type but understand and accept my personality that is like this *pointing oneself*..well maybe there are guys like that but it's hard to find..

oh yeah..while thinking bout these, ida texted me so i told her bout these..she asked me stop listening to the song..hahahaha and she said i could find this type of guys but they wont be like me who never been in a relationship before..sad isn't it? but i dont give a damn bout it..hahahah i see myself as taeyang..so pure and innocent..ok lies..hahaha except for the fact that he kissed a girl before..or is it the other way around? hahaahah and i dont..except for pillow and teddies..hahaha but the point is, i've never been into any relationship and i wanted a guy who's the same..but come on..like ida said, is there a guy like that now? hahaha i know..there isnt..this 'pure' type, like yours truly, is in danger of extinction..hahaha well, im still standing strong and alive..right? hahahah and ida said, TOP is no then..well, TOP is different, i'll love him forever..hahaha he's special..and again ida, he's not a toy, i love him, his my boo..hahahaah omg! if the real TOP read this, i swear he's gonna laugh at me so hard or he'd just ignore? well, im gonna blushed so hard till my face turn crimson..hahahaah

nonetheless, im gonna tell mama about this..i bet she'll gonna laugh at me too..but i dont care..hahaha it's for fun anyway..if it meant to be, i mean me, to marry a guy that's pious, young and handsome, i dont know..im gonna be a different person? naaah~~ hahahah if it's the other way around, marrying someone like TOP, i'm gonna turn into someone else too..right?? i dont know..hahaah again, if the REAL TOP read this, not just this, every other entries about him and eventually say something or comment, im gonna hide myself!!! in the closet, under the bed, anywhere!! hahahahahhaha which i know, even in 1000 yrs it wont come true and that i thank God..hahaahah

#nowlistening : the devil wears prada - dogs can grow beards all over

fin

p/s : keep dreaming sista! ya aint gonna got what ya wished for!!

TOP and drama?

nyeelllloooowwww~ hehehe ok peeps..gotta a story to tell..well..a few nights before..i watched this malay telemovie..its about a girl who paralyzed from hip downwards, sits on wheelchair..so it's a crazy yet a sad movie..then, that night i went to sleep with my mom..sorry dad, you have to sleep on the floor because of me..it's just i wanna gossip with my mom so i just went to sleep with her..hehehe well, we love gossips! heheheh so while we were chit-chatting (dad was eavesdropping, im very sure! lol) and actually most of the time, i like to sniff my mom's arm..you know..everyone has a different smell, skin smell..i guess..i like to just sniff my mom's..and mom's kinda worried bout that since  she thought it's bad odour or something..hahaha well it's not..i guess i just missed her while im in malacca, so i tend to do that recently, whenever i went back to kl and got the chance to grab her arms and sniff..lol so that night, we even discussed about the sniffing issue..lol

so..the real story is about my dream that night..lol i cant really remember it in exact way but here it goes..

i dreamed 3 dreams..i woke up a few times, that's why..these 3 dreams have something in common, it's about me, going for the islamic exam..damn! it got me worried like  hell..will i pass? insyaAllah..i really pray for it..man! im nervous about the results..oh well..back to the story..hehehe

well only the last dream is 'recoverable'..so in that dream i was on this wheelchair..eating at the plaza siswa (our university's cafeteria) with my friends..sorry real friends, you're all not in it..somehow, they're just some strangers i've never seen before..lol it's weird though..so after having that lunch (i guess) so we went to the FOSEE building..ACR 1001! (it's one of the university's building and room)..i went up using the elevator..as soon as it opens up, i struggle to go out..i moved forward from the elevator and i saw.........TOP! in his black leather jacket, hair like in the pic..with a GIRL..so so SO CLOSE TOGETHER! i bet she's one of the classmates since she was like holding notes too but more to flirting with TOP..and i think she looked familiar..is it you tiradella? or is it you miss melody? hahaha kidding..but one thing's for sure, she didnt wear hijab! so i dont know who she is..but he was like all over her..in the sense that they were so close..just like..urmm..hugging? hahaha well..then suddenly i broke into tears..seeing them two..i was really, really heartbroken..then..i tried to escape..wishing that he'll not see me..i kinda forgot about the exam too..see! i was really3 hurt..hahaha so i tried to reverse(?) the wheelchair (i guess) but i fell to the ground..there's not much of people there..so no one helped me..TOP saw me fell..so he determinedly held out his hand to reach me..he was in sitting position (or is it he trembled down, coz it seemed like he did)..i was crawling..at first, i wanna get up on my own, while crying..but i couldnt help myself..i just keep falling..he said he's sorry all along while trying to help me..i didnt know what to do so i just have to use his help..while holding on to his arms, i cried "Dont leave me! please! i need you..please dont leave me!" i keep on saying that to him..and he keeps on saying he was very sorry for everything..when i reached his hands, he pulled me..he hugged, held me tightly..he said "im sorry..i didnt mean too..it was all just a mistake!" *aint that sweet~?? but it sounded untrustworthy, right? like he's trying to play me right? lol* and i held to his right arm so tightly..i somehow 'sniffed' his arm..*darn he smell so good! hehehe* actually i was sobbing and crying..begging him to not let me go, not to leave me..he calmed me down..i was really mad bout him cheating but the emotions run over me..i was more to begging rather than being angry.. guess i love him too much..and he was crying too..all along..while we were crawling, trying to reach each other's hands..he seemed to really mean it, the apologizes he made seemed real..it's like i cant say no or be angry with him..he seemed so honest coz he cried as much as i did..

oh yes! the girl? halfway through, when TOP crawled to me, she was like "what?! her? why??" with a very negative expression on her face..and so she just walked away..and it ended there..

it was so dramatic..God knows how it was..i could feel the sufferings even after i woke up..it left an impact for me..hahaha i mean my soul had to crawl, cry, scream etc..my soul suffered quite a lot in that dream..but it's so a romanticly sad love story kinda dream..i've never dream something like that before, as far as i can remember..but it felt so real..and the best part was i ended up in his arms..(sorry but mmu doesnt allow this right? lol) man, i feel so safe and loved! i feel really protected in his arms! both of us seems not wanting to let it all go..awww~~ hehehehe

fin

p/s : dreaming about him more haru haru..i feel happy! ^______^

triple combo!

well the night before, i dreamed of TOP, GD and Taeyang..wuhoooo~~!! lol i guess there's seungri too..but i cant really remember it..but them three reminds me of the song Hallelujah..hahahah well, hallelujah! lol

it was like we're in a high school/college..i guess me and top were a couple..gd was there..being all jealous coz i stole his bestfriend..hahaha i think he's mad coz top's too clingy with me and forgotten him..but he said it while laughing..top protected me..weee~ hahaha top laughed a lot and happy coz we all went along very well..and then there's a scene where taeyang suddenly went to a toilet which i was just about to go out..i guess it's unisex toilet? but he was so shy..when he saw me, he straight away looked down..he was holding something in his arms..clothes i guess..but he's all buffy and cute..hahahah


fin


p/s : it was nice having hot guys in my dream..hehehe 

T.O.P or G-Dragon?

#nowplaying baby good night by GTOP..


yesterday i had caffeine for lunch and so i cant sleep last night..i slept at 7.30 this morning..darn! i was like a zombie coz my brain was already malfunction that time but my eyes..they're like pumped up..i even forgot to have dinner last night..well, at first i was too nervous that i didnt have the feeling to eat..than, my stomach starts to cramp(?) but it was already 1am..so i just brushed off the need to eat..but i didnt expect that i would be awake till 7.30 am..well, while being 'zombified', i cant study (im gonna have my final exam soon! dang!) so i just occupied myself with some games and when i was too tired, i just listened to songs..the last song was Baby Good Night..and this is the beginning of the real story that i wanna tell ya guys is..well..


last night (or is it this morning?), i dreamed of top and g-dragon..yes..GTOP! hehehe well, they were not exactly in the same dream..it was two different dreams..first was TOP and the next one was GD..it was nice..and..shall i say, it got me thinking all day? hahahah ok..i might not remember perfectly but i'll just write the bits and pieces of the dream..the scenes that actually stick in my mind, okay? so there will be a lot of 'i think', 'maybe', 'i guess' etc..please dont be annoyed..hahaha


well gonna make myself comfort to write this..buckle up people! aahahah


for the first dream, it was something like music video(mv) in a seductive way(?)..it was something like the baby good night mv..hahaha..ok..it started off by me, getting a phone call..i think i was from top..oh~ only God knows how sexy his voice was..hahaha he was asking me out..*need i remind you guys, everything was happening very slowly..i mean..in slow mo..like in the mv..* after that, i saw him driving..so i bet i was on the passenger seat next to him..he was so hot with his platinum hair~ hehehe..so..i was wearing this black dress just like audrey hepburn's..my wavy hair was left loose to the side(this must be in coz i bought this new hair product! lol)..and i guess we went for a dinner? then we arrived back at my house..i went inside and not sure where he was that time and thought he should have gone back..so, i went up to my room, taking my sweet time thinking bout him..so i decided to shower..before (or during) going in, i got a phone call..it's from top..i think he was saying something like "can i come in?" in a very3 sexy way..i was like..smiling..and agreed to it..(i guess he had the copy my house keys..) i went to bath..so inside my bathroom got this blurry divider or sliding door or something..while i was showering, i heard footsteps..and then the door opened slowly..through the blurry sliding door, i saw this figure..and definitely it's TOP's..


well..it ended there..dont ask me to tell you further about this! coz it ended right there! lol even if it ended just like that, we all know where it will lead us to, right? hahaha this dream was actually more detail but i think i dont have to write everything..you know the drill..hahaha 

then i was awake by i dont know what..then i went back to sleep..and got another dream which this time, it was GD inside it..


it started off by me and gd went to a hypermarket..we're a couple for sure..he was so cute with his new hairstyle..i held on to his arms while he's pushing the trolley..we talked, laughed..he put his arm around my shoulder..sometimes waist..i rest my head on his shoulder and sometimes chest..such a cute couple..he just let me took everything i want but i was constantly asking him "is it okay?" i think i did asked him what meal should i cook for him..then suddenly, i saw a friend of mine..a lady of course..so i said to gd that i wanna talk with her for a second since it's been a long time since we last saw each other..so he said okay..well..it turns out to be longer than expected..while we ladies were talking and taking the things, i did turned around a few times to see gd..just to confirm he's there..hahaha then my friend said she's going to the register since she got all the things she wanted..i waved her goodbye..then i went to gd who's walking slowly behind..i saw him pout..when i talked to him, he just kept quiet..and still pouting..well, he said he sulked coz my friend 'borrowed' me too long..hehehe cute isnt he? and then he kept quiet and pout..i was trying so hard to make him happy again..i apologized, sweet talked, tickled him..but none of it worked..i even pout back at him..hahaha so when we're about to go to the register (in silent) which was straight ahead, i suddenly walked to the right..he was looking at me curiously..i saw him and stopped..i said "come on..come with me!" he made a very weird face, a confused face actually..seductively, i smirked and left him there..i walked to the..lingerie section..while making 'follow me' finger and smirked..he looked down and smiled shyly (actually the smirk face he always does)..i was already halfway to the section..i turned around to face him and still making the finger..he's shy but then, he obeyed..and so it ended there..hahahahaha

omg! what had happened to me? i mean..seeeeeee...i've dreaming 'these things'..though it doesnt go down to 'it'..but man! it's already..on the way to 'it'..hahaha i mean come on?! hahaha it's just isnt a good time to have wet dreams okay? almost that kinda dream, it's fine..just like these two..coz i got final exams to think about..*does it matter actually?* hahahaah it's TOP and GD for God sake! who doesnt want them in their dreams? especially 'that' kinda dream..hehehe TOP~  unffff! *oh, nasty mind of mine! lol*


fin


p/s : too much of gtop or what? if it goes down to 'it', i dont think i would write it here..i'll just keep it to myself..hahahaah but these dreams already keep me thinking bout it all day..darn! lol

tira, the little miss vanity dreamed something cute..

it happened like days ago..sorry i'm updating it a bit late..since i didnt have the 'feel' to write..

Tira dreamed of her taeyang and me and top! well..as usual, like i remembered..she said, me and her were bout to go to a coffee house or something..the main thing was we're about to chill out and have some coffee..and dear top and taeyang (YB) will join us too..bla bla bla..bla bla bla..the next thing, all four of us were there..we sat on the same table..so MR HOT BOD, TAEYANG is with MS HOT STUFF, TIRA on one corner..and THE HOT MESS *actually just mess* ME with MR SEXY EYES, TOP is on the other..

so, tira said YB and her were like talking and..playing each other's fingers.. -___-?? taeyang seemed to not make eye contact at all with her, she said..they're both too shy i guess..but aawwwww~~ aint that cute? like..fer sure there's 'sneak peeks' between them..i wonder if i did caught them off guard and annoyed/teased them? lol but anyways, tira said, YB's smile was so cute~~ awww~~ i'm sure it's like a cute-shy-ish smile..awwww~ and she said YB's eyes were like so cute, almost closed, well his has so small and cute eyes..especially when he smiles *eyes closed*..awww~~ heheheh ^_____^

well..me..and my tabi..hahahah..omg..i think it's funny..but, first off, it's tira's dream, not mine and i somehow like it but i think..lol *can i fangirling now? before i tell ya guys the my part of the story? ok? heeeeeeee~~!!! aaaaaa~~!!! heheheeheheh!! ok, done* now back to me and top's part..

well..as i've said earlier, we (me and top) werent that far from them (tira and YB)..well, actually, we're infront of them..so tira said, while she was talking to YB, she glanced/looked at us..oh gosh! tira, do you have to? like seriously? lol so..then..she saw us..being too close..i mean ssoooo close..lol tira, are we like cuddling or what? hehehe so she said top was like whispering some things to me..and his deep voice could be heard by them..oh gosh! *weeee~ :D* and then she said top smiled so hotly and im with this shy smile thing..hahaha i guess i was too drawn..lol well, the best part is TOP KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK! omg! *officially fangirling then, fainted and alive and continue writing this post!* she said he did it just like in guns and roses' mv - november rain where the vocalist, axl kissed his wife's cheek in a bar while they hanged out with friends..then they get physical..lol oh gosh! tira, did i? and top? hahahah though im praying for something more, i mean lip kiss..or something..lol..omg! sorry tira..if so, you can definitely say "you two, get a room!" to me in that dream or "dream it yourself!" in reality..i wont mind..lol being a good friend, i dont wanna disgust you..lol

oh Lord..though it's tira's dream, im the one who's getting the excitement..sorry tira..myb you and YB should lessen the shyness..and pass it to me and top..hahaha but then..i was so shy when tira told me all these since my imaginations ran wild..my, my..lol but tira said, we were cute in that dream..so close and romantic i guess..awww~~ aint that good? i wish i could witness it myself..lol well..the next day, i think i just 'continued' the dream but i cant remember it..lol

anyways..thanks tira deary..for having that dream..and sorry for overshadowing..hahaha well..may it please dear, have some more of these dreams..and do tell me about it..lol gosh! i should just dream it myself..rather than asking people to do it for me! wth? it's for her own benefit too, since YB did appeared and played 'finger game' with her..lol

fin

p/s : addicted to digital bounce by se7en feat my dear top.. ^__^

what i wanna be, when i was young..

"i dont feel happy..i am all so sappy..dont be like me..it is scary..like living in solitary.."

well this is what i feel right now..i dont know why..coz since morning till the evening, i was fine..i mean, i was laughing with my friends and so..then..in a flick..i went all sappy..maybe coz the song i heard in farah's car..and..the fact that it's raining..it compliments well with the mood..

well..put that aside..my post for today..after a few days since the last post..is this..well..i wanna tell ya guys a secret..maybe..ya guys think i'm faking it..but..got to tell ya, i wont lie if im in a not-so-good mood..and a secret wont actually stay that long..somehow a person will spill it someday..whether the owner of the secret, or it emerge to other people's ear itself..oh did i make it sound so serious? lol well..here it goes..WHEN I WAS YOUNG..I USED TO..WANNA BE A RAPPER..there i said it! now, i could see some of ya guys making weird faces, gestures and scratches..

well..again..im not lying to ya..it's not about TOP and his devotion to rap, hip hop music..no no no..let me tell ya the real story..i have a brother who loves rnb and hip hop music..so..when i was like this lil kid..he's been giving me these kinda songs to listen to..well actually, i've been hearing his songs though i didnt even know what it meant..he listens to bone thugs and harmony, fat joe, fabulous, jay z, p diddy of course, notorious B.I.G and some other rappers too..even the underground rappers..he even listens to chinese rappers like LMF..well..practically so did i..since i've been following whatever he listens to, clothings and stuff..yes..i wore and still wearing baggy shirts and jeans..i even lowered my jeans..lol it's funny but my brother is my biggest influence..and he likes it when i followed him..but now, he asked me to lessen the guys kinda thing and more to lady like..lol

so, i think when i was in elementary school..i used to try to rap..just following the words of the lyrics..though it's kinda funny since, im not that good in english that time..but still, i copied it..i know..it must sounded so horrible..lol..then..as i grow older..like..between the end of elementary life to high school life..i kinda know what's rap..the words..and stuff..starting to understand the meanings too..and im into cornrows..dreadlocks..those kinda things..hehehe..which i did the hairstyles..hehehe

and from that..i start to rap, though it's below than mediocre..lol..i mean like..yeah, for me..i think..it's freestyle..but i only did it for a few lines..and i tried to make it as rhythmic as possible..ehehe..but im more to just use the rap existed in a song..following the flow..singing and rapping..and normally i just do it to myself..i dont do it publicly..hehehe afraid of embarrassment, i supposed..well..somehow..i do came up with a few lines and put it somewhere for status..like the ones up here..i put it up as my fb status and ym too..hehehe by writing it and posting it as status, i'll have the positive feeling..but rapping it, literally..oh gosh..DUN WANNA!

"now i feel a bit of happiness in me..coz mama called maybe..the sadness fly free..like a bee..oh em gee..dont sting me..it's not worthy..like seriously..trust me.."

hehehe..that's how i feel now..heheh..n yeah..it's bad right? lol at least..i've tried..hehehe well..back to the story..i even tried to compose in malay..which sounded so "jiwang"..or too romantic? lol..sometimes, i think i composed it so gibberish-ly..which i dont know..hahahah i just wanna laugh at it..like this one..the one above this paragraph..i think it's totally a crap..gibberish..lol

well..im just doing this for fun..so i dont mind if it's stink or sucks or whatever ya guys wanna put it as..but im open to any criticism! hehehe well..im not good with words..so i dont expect much..it's not like im a pro or something..hehehe if i am, i'll so happy..i guess..hehehe well..like i said..i used to dream on becoming a rapper..which i doubt would be possible..lol but somehow, the dream seems to relive back in me..lol but..again..i wont do it publicly..unless..writing it..a few lines..then, that's it..it's good enough to rap others' words in their own songs..rather than me, composing and trying to use other people's song to go with the words..it will sound bad..horrible..extremely low than mediocre..lol

yeah..that's bout it yo..and i think..i should get a notebook to keep those words of mine..so that it can be my reminiscents..right?

fin

p/s : listening to TOP's 'to act as if nothing's wrong' (repeating it again and again) while writing this post..it inspires me..a lot..lol

TOP lalala~

it's already 5 am..i didnt even realized it..hahahah okay..just wanna post it since i think it's cute..i think TOP is as cute as a puppy..or maybe a kitten? well..he's cute..hahahah well thanks to jbgirl15 for posting this in youtube..heheh awww~ can i pinch him like gd did? i wanna! i wanna! I WANNA! lol

well..speaking of gd..God! i dont know what happened..but it's so easy for me to dream of gd rather than TOP..it's not bad..but yall know im TOP biased..fer sure i want TOP in my dreams..ok..not in that dirty kinda way..a good innocent way okay? lol *this goes to you tira!**staring at tira with sharp eyes* lol but since, gd's cute too..so..i dont mind..eheheh not that i want them all *startled*..hahaha but it just happened..dream is not something that we can set..unlike fantasy..which is private and depending to one's desire on how it should be and who should be in it..hahahah upps..next!

well..a few nights ago, *it sounded better with 'day' than 'night'! lol!* i dreamed something..TOP was in it..which only for a few seconds..the only thing i could remember was his hair..it's wavy..maybe coz the post i made previously? hahaha i guess so..

same night..i dreamed of going to a jusco, near my house..a confirmed place..hahah..i was on the passenger seat, next to the driver..we were in a parking lot..i asked the 'driver' to park at the spot that i pointed..then suddenly, when the driver spoke, it was g-dragon..with his bleach-heartbreaker hair! lol..awww..cute! hehehe he was kinda stubborn..he wanted to park at another spot..which isnt far from where i pointed..we kinda argued about that..which i think it's adorable! lol stupid argument right? yeah, i know! lol..

TO TIRA, DONT BE JEALOUS..I CANT SEND THEM TO YA..especially gd..he was like..'attached' to my dreams..lol..and whenever he's in my dream, we would be like, something like..urmm..couple or something..again tira, it's not my fault..i was just enjoying the 'drama'..and will be..hahaha maybe me and gd's souls always bumped to each other..lol well some people said if we were to dream about someone, or a person appeared in our dream, our soul and their soul meet each other..maybe my soul has accidentally went out with gd's soul..aww..i approved..hahahaha kidding people..big bang vips, especially g-dragon's fans, dont be mad..it's for everyone's entertainment..*giving yall the most innocent look ever~!!* of course i wont be the one that gd or TOP would make as a girlfriend..duhh~~ im infamous..hahahah but if i could, then i would love to..hahaha okay2..sorry2..they (including taeyang, seungri and daesung) are everyone's (vips/fans)..not just mine..alright? :D

if let say..just if..one of the big bang members or ya know..if..they ever read my blog post..one of the post that i wrote of anyone of them..they must be laughing hard at me..i know..hahaha..if i knew that they read any post of mine, i guess..i may be screaming so hard till my throat's torn..and if..only if they post a comment on my post, any of it..i'll say..i may undergo a state of unconsciousness..which i dont know for how long..and then i'll wake up and reply the comment back..if i am able to write a reply..if not..i'll undergo the process of unconsciousness all over again..lol..anyhow..it's just an 'IF'..but who knows..if im lucky..they read and comment..which i know it's impossible..but if they do, i just dont know what to do or say..i may be speechless in words and writings..hahahaha is that bad? i think it's not..though i know no one will answer this but if it happens to you all, what would you do? hehehe

fin

p/s : the hazelnut ice blended from coffee bean turned me into these..a sleepless monster who babbles about unnecessary things..and laughing to alone and talking to oneself..people may think im crazy..well..i am..lol..

p/s : i wish there are people, who's a stranger, who would give a comment to the post i made..any post..since..im interested to know whether my blog can be categorized as bad, mediocre, average or good, maybe..ya know..maybe critics on my language..coz i know, my english is somehow not good..grammatical errors are everywhere..and stuff like that..hope to see new people to comment on my blog..please do..hehehe..to my friends,you are more than invited to write any comment..hehehehe

fever-ish dream..

last two nights..i had a dream..it's funny since GD's in it..ahahaha he was darn cute..n his hair was exactly like this..cute! well, im writing this since tira wants to know more about the dream..i cant remember much but here it goes..

i was in a room..dark..lights off..since i think it was time to sleep..i was wearing my normal clothes..big tshirt and shorts..hair down..i was about to lay down..then i heard someone shouting..calling my name..and stuff..so i opened the door..of my room..it seems the room was quite small..since i just walked a few step from my bed to the door..i think it was only 2 3 steps..ahead..and i didnt actually have a bed..i think it was just a floor, with a mat and a pillow..so ancient chinese/japanese style..but it was so dark, so i couldnt see it clearly..but i really confident that the room was small..

then back to the shouting part..so i opened the door..there it was..a very long hallway..it was like a dorm or something..just a long hallway with rooms left and right..so..then..someone shouted.."mandy! your room! help him! please take care of him!" something2..he was holding someone..that person looked so weak..and..i was like "huh?? what?? urmm.." i was kinda resisted to it since i cant actually see the face the one he's holding..well, it seemed that i know the the guy since he knew my name but i dont think i knew who he's holding..i was curious though..but i became even more curious when the person also called out my name again and again..but in a very weak, weak voice.. "mandy~..mandy~..mandy~.." 'do i know you?' that's what i thought..then i dazed..to think who he was..his face couldnt be seen since his head faced down..

then the guy suddenly opened a door..to my room..then only i knew my room had two doors and rectangular-ish..i was shocked that he just bust into my room without me agreeing to it..but somehow i pitied the person he's holding..when he's about to lay down the person, i put a pillow underneath so he could lay the guy properly..he almost slipped the guy on me..and yes, he was kinda heavy..so we put him slowly..

i was stunned! it was GD! he was sick..sick as a dog..no3..sick as a puppy! hehehe he was shivering, whining, and sweating madly..i was blurred for a while..then the guy said GD was searching and whining for me..he couldnt stop saying my name..i was like "heh? why?" he said "just take care of him, will ya?" and so he left..quickly..

i just didnt know what to do..since he was like shivering all over..calling my name..and whined..like a kid..i just kept answering "yes, i'm here..dont worry..okay? i'm here..hold on.." then..i put the back of my hand on to his forehead..he had a fever..high fever..so i kinda wiped off his sweats on his face..and since he was wearing white shirt, like the above picture, i thought he must be uncomfortable with that, so i kinda..urmm..urmmm...opened up the buttons..*GOSH! it's not my fault! i dont have any control of my own dream!* it's to loosen him up..so put my comforter on him..i'm so scared since he shivered so much..then i put a wet towel on his forehead..he seemed to have slowed down..the shiver..still whined..and calling my name..which i think "just stop it would ya? im here..i wont go anywhere..geezz.." hahahah

looking back at it..i think he's kinda cute..and he was just like a sick puppy..i did smile while seeing him sleep..but i feel like im his mom or something..hahah i cant remember it but i think he held on to my hand..heheheeh awww~~that made me even more smiling..i also constantly stroke his hair, to calm him down..*oh i'm a nice person..hahahaha* it ended up by..urmm...i guess..i slept next to him..holding him tightly..aww~~ isnt that sweet? hahahah

i'm very sure that i didnt listen, watch or do anything that have GD as a main feature on it on that day..but i guess it's a combination of hanakimi, when sano fall sick..and..tell me goodbye..i guess i did listen or watch tell me goodbye..and yes..my fb..hahahaha..ok..so now i know..hahahah..

fin

p/s : wishing it to be TOP..but still..it's fine..GD's hot too..hahahah

only look at me

hey! waddup people? ok like seriously someone please just hit me with a baseball bat or something..what had happened to me? i've been dreaming celebs like almost every night..last night this gentleman appeared in my dream..the name is tae yang..n yes, of big bang..hahaha..well, i dont mind much..this guy's hot and sexy..cant help but smiling all the way..even in the dream he is hot..with his innocent smile, he can capture any girl's heart..

to make this more, urmm, taeyang-ish, i'm listening to his song..only look at me..the title..heheheh

so here the story goes..ok..as usual, i cant remember much but i know the dream lasted only for a few minutes..i guess..hahaha ok..urmm..it happened in kl..somewhere near my house..i parked my car down the street..bought myself some groceries i think..then..when i'm about to start the engine to go home, i saw a group of people surrounding something..yeah..i went out from my car..i saw it..it was an accident..i thought i saw blood..then i went through the crowd..i saw him..yes..him! tae yang!! he was covered with blood..and he was holding two A4 papers..he was smiling though..as i walked closer to him, he tried to push himself up..which i think it was weird and sad..i was stunned so i just stood there..i wanna help him but i'm just too shocked to see him like that..and..when he was in the sitting position, he showed me the papers..and he laughed..or giggled?? WITH THE BLOOD STILL FLOWING FROM HIS HEAD/BODY!!! he's insane i tell ya! hahaha..he said..he wrote something wrongly..on the first paper..the second paper's the right one..i squatted to take the papers..i cant remember what he exactly wrote..but the wrong word is 'mine' which should be 'mind' ..i think he wrote 'you are in my mind' or 'be in my mind' or something..but something like that..which i think, SO SWEET~~!!! he showed me that with a smile on his face..the usual, innocent smile he always gave..and..i think i smiled with tears running down my face..OH MY GOD! hahahha and i thought and told he's stupid for doing that..i just wanna slap him for being silly like that but nope, seeing him, made me feel pity..of coz..who doesnt? blood covered him and the papers..but he kept on smiling..and that's the end..

fin

p/s: top, done..gd, done..taeyang, done..next victim! seungri? or daesung? hahaha oh.so.weird.!. unexpected too..

omg! it's ji yong!

lain yang diharapkan, lain yang dapat..haa cam tu lah dia..hahaha..this morning, instead of having TOP in my dream, i dreamt about G-DRAGON? g-dragon or kwon ji yong, the leader of big bang..hahaha..okay, right now i feel so weird since i've been dreaming about celebs lately rather than to have people that i know or vice versa..plus, it's bout love love and love..is this the sign of insanity? or purely an advice for me? i'll go for insanity or too much fangirling..lol!

back to the story..let me tell ya what the dream was about..okay? i guess (i couldnt remember it perfectly but it's something like this) it started with my blog..yes..here..GD read my posts, i'm not sure it's about him or TOP but yeah he read it..then he emailed me..added my ym (how did he knew my email add? dont ask! lol)..so we began to start chatting there..he said, no! he REVEALED himself by telling me he IS the real GD..which i doubt, at first..but he seems so sincere to know more about the blog, me, what i knew about him and stuff..if i'm not mistaken lah..hahaha..and then, suddenly he 'merajuk'..i cant remember why he merajuk..i think about a post that i wrote..then, i tried to pujuk him somehow..but one thing's for sure, i used my BB to do the chat..when i tried to pujuk him, the funny thing is that i said "ji yong..ji yong..are you mad at me?" which is so not me! ewww..hahaah..me being so nice and blurgghhh? weird..hahaha that is the only exact sentence that i could remember..and i called him ji yong? hahahaah ok..then..because of that pretty cute sentence, we 'reconciled' so as to speak..hahaha he said he wasnt angry but something2..oh i'm such a forgetful! then..while i was ym-ing with him, a delivery was sent to me..and yes, my bb was about to be dead..i didnt charge it because of him..trying to pujuk, chatting2 with him till i forgot to charge my dear bb..hahaha..then i opened up the parcel..that time, he suddenly disappeared, bb's dead..i was like HELP! hahaha then i remembered i forgot to save his ym id (?) (if dah add, confirm2 la dah ada sekali kan? duuhh~~ stupid dream! lol) so i was kinda sad..so sad..n feeling lost..(could it be i'm in love with him? uuu~~ lol!) again, i opened up the parcel and surprised to see a brand new BB bold 2 for me! weee~ and the colour's red..crimson red or just red? somehow it's red! which i love..haahah there are something else in that parcel but it didnt focus much on that..then, i tried to operate the bb..it seems that, it has been used by someone..but not too long..i saw a lot of contacts and all of them were korean people, celebs to be exact..i could see super junior, supernova, 2pm etc..and of course there's big bang on the list..hahah and then, i searched and searched and searched..and i found GD's id! bb id! hahaha..so i 'ping' him..saying that i'm sorry that my bb's dead and asking was this bb his..and making sure that he wasnt angry at me anymore..n he said it's his but he gave it to me as a gift..n he wasnt angry..we did something like web cam while bbm-ing (which a 'heh?' pops in my mind right now)..hahaha okay, have to say this..darn he's so cute! and so nice..he made funny faces in the webcam which i think it was adorable..hehehe..using two BBs to do that okay? hahaha one just for the webcam n another for the bbm-ing!

but basically i think we were already a couple but when exactly, i dont know..oh! so! WEIRD!

and..i know why he appeared in my dream..last night i was listening to 'this love' sang by him again n again..and watched the previous vid..and i googs them but he appeared more in the googs since he is the leader..so..oh yes! the youtube! now i know..somehow..i'm happy and satisfied..it's a cute dream after all.. ;D

fin

p/s: might as well like GD now..good thing i didnt called him 'ji yong oppa' while blushing..omg..that would be funny! hahahaha

three strikes and your OUT!

omg..!!! hahaha..hari tu appeared YAMAPI..after some time, appeared JIN..recently la jugak..and today TOP..omg!!! 3 of the guys i like,love appeared in my dreams!! separate though..hahahaha..still..i feel incredibly happy..hahahaha..cm the most luckiest person in the world..though not seeing them in real life, but the feeling dalam mimpi tu pon dah cukup..hahahah dah la sume mimpi best2..

summary of the dreams

yamapi

haaa..the dream was sorta like forbidden love something..hahaha i like laa..hahah it started off by 2 kids around age of 5 (a boy and a girl) fighting..the girl hit the boy, always..the girl was tough and the boy was so annoying..yes, just like you all thought..i'm the girl..hahaha..so actually we were twins..and belonged to a rich family, mom -tina fey (isnt this ridiculous? lol) owned the the huge Rockafella Plaza, owning a huge TV company..we lived in a huge mansion in California..hahaha..we had Hummers okay..with 'S'..lol friggin rich basically..so mom gave me the ceo position..yamapi was just a lazy ass..part time model..so we never been good to each other since small..current time took place..somehow, he always tries to be friend with me and i always thought it's annoying..suddenly, somehow he confessed at me saying that he loves me..that's why he acted like manja2..hahaha..n actually i love him too..but the thing is that we're twins! hahaha..as i far as i could remember, we did kissed! awwww!!! hahahaha sorry la kalau u guys think aku ni gatal ke pe..but it's in that dream..i didnt plan it okay? hahahaah

jin

omg..this is friggin cute dream too..hahahah this one i cant remember much..all i remembered was jin, two girls(my friend) and me hanging around in a cafe..yes2..and me and jin were bestfriends since small..elementary school i guess..oh yes, the location was japan..we were happily chatting suddenly he got up and just gone..he went somewhere..not telling anything..suddenly a text got in my BB..it was from jin saying that he was sorry..for just blah like that..hahah coz he got something to settle and he will make it up back next time..he also included emoticons which were a wink and a smile..(^_-) (^_^) and i replied it's okay with a kiss and a blush emoticons (*^3^)/ (#^_^#)..which i dont even know y?! hahaha those two girls were like "just confess already!!!" hahahaha and he suddenly appeared back and took my hand and we lead somewhere..if im not mistaken..hehehehe

top

hehehehe..this was like a dream comes true kinda dream..hahaha..this one, all that i could remember was we were like a fan-celeb thing..suddenly he said 'why did you say you love me?' say or write or something..hahahaha..and he wasnt angry, just curious tone..but somehow ia disebabkan oleh handphone..funny though..hahaha short but sweet dream..hahahaahah hope to dream my tabi again..everyday kalau buleyh..hehehe

fin weee~~~ *love love*

p/s : hope lepas nie appear la *reminiscing them while nose bleeding* miura shohei ke, matsujun ke, mokomichi ke, hiro mizushima ke (walaupun ayaka's hubby), sakurai sho ke..whoever lah yang i love so much..hahaha it would be better if allllllll of them in one dream..wow! packed nanti..hahahaha tu mau tido 24 hours tak bangon2..hahaaha