Thursday, September 29, 2011

carnival and major blabbers.

it's been a while since the last time i updated this blog. well, hello peeps. i was so caught up with exams. oh and this blog is quite rusty and dusty too. sorry blog. i'm sorry but i love you. well there's nothing happened to me lately. my life isn't exciting, that's why. i need a life booster or something. or at least a person or a thing that can excite my life, in a good way of course and that doesn't mean complication or drama to be included. just a new friend or a new interest. oh yes, i didn't manage to go to KLMF where GTOP and seungri were there. it's in my exam week. sad me! well, i got one more paper to go today. wish me luck yall.

speaking of my boring life. suddenly i feel like going to a carnival. you know, with the carousel, ferris wheel, toss rings and all? the last time i went to a carnival was in 2008? well can i even consider it as one? i don't know myself. it's a small carnival, i guess. still, they got the things that carnivals have. well, back to the main point. i really wanna go to one of those big carnivals. ok, they don't have to have the floats and all. i mean it's enough if it's like in the picture. carnival game to be precised. but the thing is i wont be able to. i can foresee my life when i go back home, work, work and work! ok maybe a little relaxation. or more? i just wanna go to a carnival, holding one balloon in one hand and one ice cream in the other and walk around the carnival. even if i have to go alone, it's fine. well, it's better that way. i could do whatever i wanna do and there's no one to oblige. i could try everything there.

and speaking being alone, i realized that these days i prefer to go or to do something alone. i've been going out and eating alone quite often. well, i don't really want to bother my friends. it would be burdensome to them. plus, i have a different taste in food plus cravings. so it's gonna be a lil difficult for them. that's what i feel. and yeah, I've been going out alone isn't a new thing. it's started the day i had my car. hell, it's even before that. i feel free when i go somewhere alone. like i said, i could do and go whatever, wherever i want. but people will look at me weirdly especially when i went to a restaurant or something. they have this glance, i don't know whether it's a pity glance or what. maybe a jealous glance. lol well, yall can say i'm an emo or a loner or anti social, idgaf. i just want my privacy. to tell you the truth, it's a bit lonely but it's good if you want some privacy. but it won't be a privacy if people asked you 21 questions, like 'where did you go?' 'with who?' 'why?' and all. sorry, i don't favor much on nosiness. it gets me annoyed. like real bad. well, if it's from my mom, it's fine. it's her job anyways, as a mother, right? plus, i'm far from her sight, so a little investigation wont hurt. at least to me. and she isn't mind. in fact she preferred me, going alone to wherever i wanna go. she said not to bother people and burden them. we wont know if someday they'll talk behind our back or asking for a return or whatever thing that's possible. we wont know what's on their heart and mind but let's not be prejudice. and she said there's a need for independence, because she too, didn't wait for dad to go somewhere she wanted. unless, she's lazy to drive, of course. hehehe bottom line is, being alone gives you freedom, independence and privacy.

and so, if there happened to be a carnival here, somewhere near here, i would love to go and i don't mind going alone. oh, i sounded like a kid, right? an emo kid? i know. sorry for that. but i am. hahahah and yes, carnival games are not meant to be won and so is my life. but i don't say i'm a fully loser. but just isn't shine enough. it's in mid air. not a winning life but not much of a loser life either. ok what am i saying right now? i don't know. whatever. lol but, what i do know, people don't know much about me. i mean what I've been doing. and that's what i like. heheheh *evil* well it's not really bad or something. just yeah. things people don't even think about. heheheh  well, people might just think it's a waste of time and all. but for me, it's fun enough. what's that? nu-uh. not gonna tell. lol

ok gotta go now. till the next post, alright? well, if i got a nice story to write, that is. well i hope so. and yes, after this paper, i'm gonna have my 2 weeks break. hope for a better holiday~!! 


p/s : i'm not an emo small kid. trust me. i'm a happy, stoned girl. hahaha

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