suddenly, when i saw a picture of kim rae won, it reminds me of you..well, i always said to myself that you looked like him..that time, of course..it's been like what? 10 years? but you're skin wasn't as dark as his..you're thinner..but i think you have the same smile as his..sadly, i've never have a picture of you..so whenever i saw kim rae won's, i'll remember you..there's one time, i forgot who got the same face with you, i google-d it day and night, for days..when i got the answer, rae won that is, it stays in my mind..sticking like glue..i dont know if others would agree, but you're my malay version of rae won..the smile, pretty much similar..the teeth was somehow different, i guess..rae won's teeth's bigger..and the eyes were even similar..small eyes that is..hehehe i remember how nizam tried to match us up in every of that religious class..hahahah but we're more advanced than him.. every time, we would wear the same colour or pattern..oh i cant forget that time when nizam said that we're back from mosque, got married..hahahah coz you're wearing baju melayu and i was wearing baju kurung..and we went up to the room together..with smiles plastered on our face..though the real fact that you're teasing me, and i managed to tease you back and we end up laughing..i denied about us so much right? though both you and i knew and acted like we're so much more..and..nizam, your silly old brother never gave up..he'll always find a way to make us a couple..cupid much? lol
i always thought you guys are gentlemen..i mean, you guys always waited for me until my brother came up to pick me since the class ended up late at night..im so thankful for that..after making sure it's the right car, i went inside it, you guys would then walked home peacefully, saying "we'll see you again tomorrow, bye!"..nizam once said "bye sis-in-law!" lol! we three the only ones that were above 10 years old..lol of coz nizam was much older..hahaha the kids were totally blur with us three..hahaha i remember when you and me will sit next to each other (so close) at the bench outside, near the playground spot within the house watching the kids running.. and nizam, which at first were with us and suddenly disappeared through thin air..chasing (or bullying?) the kids..and definitely the time when you said you wanna have a look at my mobile phone..text pictures to be exact..and i accidentally opened 'i love you' and 'i miss you' etc it was very embarrassing..you blushed too..hahahah and i kept on explaining that i just got it from my brother, all those text pictures were his and so on..and you just nod and smile..both of us were too shy..nizam made cheshire smile, i saw it..hahahah but yeah, under the moonlight, it's kinda romantic..heheheh well, i dont know..nizam used to say, many times, that you liked me but you're just too shy or ego or something..and he said he even blessed our relationship which there wasnt any relationship at all..hahahah he said we're meant to be together, bla3..he persuaded me even in front of you every night..and i would just laughed it off..saying it isnt true..and you would do the same but we both blushed..so hard..changing the topics..and so on..good times, right?
now, i realized how many times my ablution was annulled! it's all coz of you! hahahah when we touched, pulled each others hand, slapped, etc i didnt know that time, forgive me Ya Allah..and whenever we sat on the same table, which we always did, we would fight, encouraged by nizam as he said that's love,we would ended up got punish together to another same table..hahahah even the teacher thought we had something! hahahah the kids approved too..hahahaha funny! oh2! oh shit! i remembered something! our feet..urmm..hahahahah since you're tall, you got long legs..and it always brushes with mine..dang! lol well, sometimes you playfully reached your feet to mine..i would just stepped on it or kick it..but sometimes i did the otherwise..well..urmm..oh God! hahahah omg! now i realized, even that time, we weren't that much of innocence eh? hahahah and we're like just 10? and that's not even including the times of other things that we didnt realize we did..im speechless now..ahahah
hey! i remembered there's one time, i was in the car, my brother went to see his friend on the opposite house..i watched as you and nizam walking further..i remember this scene in this bollywood movie..so i said to myself, "if he really likes me, he'll turn his face and smile at me.." i merely said it, didnt put any hopes on that..but i dont know if im lucky or what, i was shocked that you actually turned, smiled, and waved! you smiled so brightly in the darkness of the night..in the current situation, i dont know if my eyes should hurt or my heart..but that time, i was so ecstatic and high..i waved back, smiling like a monkey..i watched as you walked further and farther away..it was one of the best moments i've had in my life and i'm gonna remember it the rest of my life..even when my brother went inside the car, talked to me, i wasnt really paying any attention..i was so high..hahahah if only you knew about this..you would be laughing and teasing me..but at the same time you would blushed..i think..
but i still love the text pictures situation..it's like a confession, right? i cant remember everything well but i think you did held my hand before you took my phone away and play with it..and i was shy, i just looked away..omg..i cant believe i did all these! lol why are these memories flash before my eyes now? lol come on, we never see each other after i left so suddenly and i dont even know why i did that..but the last thing happened was, there's a girl, a friend of mine i guess, liked you, saying you're handsome, cute and so on..she's gonna try you..you never seem to have interest in her..i'm not sure but i think it shows..clearly on your face..(it reminds me on taeyang's only look at me) nizam was the one who liked her..i remember i helped nizam to get her but at the same time listened to her liking you..and after that, im gone..i dont even know what happened then..sorry to let you go like that, i know, it's my fault..maybe she was eager on getting you but she didnt know about us since she was new, that time..you seemed annoyed with her too..right? or it's just me thinking that way? but it did shown on your face..hopefully i was right..
talking about blessings, even your little sister blessed us..it's funny..she interrogated me and even asked us to be together..hahahha
well, sometimes i do wish we could meet again, at least become friends..but i dont think we would recognize each other..after these long years..it's too long..things have changed..many..maybe you're not the same anymore..you are my first crush..(right? or s it first love? i dont now the difference..)but i really wish i could meet you and become friends..just friends is enough for me..though i know you would probably had forgotten me years ago..maybe even be with her or anyone else..i just, wanna, see you and recognize it's you and the same on your part..would it be possible? i dont know..if you turn into the exact kim rae won, maybe i would recognize it's you..lol but again, sorry to leave just like that..im very sorry..
he looks like you.
#np cnblue - love revolution
p/s : because the day we wore green, it's said, we got married..
I want you in my life (in the castle, in the air)
I want you kiss me everyday (I take your hand, my dear)
I want you in my life (I don't want you fly away)
I want you smiling at me everyday (You're my dreaming days)
If your love won't stay with me forever
I'll be loving you, whenever
You in my life (tell me everything's alright)
I wanna be your shining light, Forever